The Sue Vanyo Music Scholarship
One Sunday after Mass, Msgr. Foltz saw Phil Vanyo helping his wife Sue out of the music area and down the sacristy steps at Sacred Heart in her wheelchair. He said to them “That is love. Undeniable love”. Phil and Sue were very involved with the music ministry at Sacred Heart, and even in her wheelchair, she wanted to be up there with Phil and the other members of Sacred Hearts music group Eagles Wings, making music together for God.
I met with Phil recently to hear the story of Phil and Sue Vanyo – how they met, and what their life together was like. It’s a love story for the ages, and the story of their 32 years of married life together that inspired the Sue Vanyo Music Scholarship, which we would like to highlight today.
Their story begins with music and dancing. They met in college in 1980 in a ballroom dancing class at MSUM. Later that year, Phil was working as a projectionist at the Moonlight Drive In theater, and Sue came up to the booth to say goodbye for the summer. It was then that Phil thought to himself…” This girl likes me!”
They dated for about 5 years before Phil was ready to propose. They were at Lake Melissa and Phil had planned to propose on the boat, by attaching the engagement ring to her fishing pole. As Phil’s luck, or better angels would have it he tripped on the dock, and fearful of possibly losing the ring altogether, Phil decided he’d better propose right there.
Sue said yes and they were married in 1986 at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Moorhead. They were given the sage advice during their engagement encounter session while preparing to be married, to avoid watching TV their first year of marriage. About a month or two before their wedding Phil’s lone TV broke down. Thinking it was a “sign from God” he purposely didn’t replace it so they would spend more of their first year of marriage focused on each other instead of watching TV. This extra time together allowed them to go out on dates to theatres, dances, concerts, as well as join the St. Francis church choir in Moorhead.
In 1992 Phil and Sue moved to the Twin Cities and music continued to be part of their lives as Sue became a member of the Sweet Adelines chorus and Phil was a member of the Men’s Barbershop chorus. Phil and Sue were hoping to add to their musical family but had not had any children of their own yet, so in 1993 they adopted Jessi. In 1997 they flew to Russia to adopt their second child, Alex. Then in 1998, God decided to give them one more, a son whom they named Matthew, which means “gift of God”.
After some years in the Twin Cities, the family moved back to East Grand Forks for Phil’s work with NAPA Auto Parts. At that time, they decided they wanted to send their children to Sacred Heart. All three of their children eventually became involved with the Sacred Heart band, choir, theatre, as well as sports. Sue worked at Sacred Heart in the Development Office as well as being a fundraising volunteer with the Athletic Association. Later she worked at the UND Maintenance Department and finally as an IT Technician with Acme Electric. Phil got into the real estate market in 2007 when his job with NAPA was eliminated. Even though there were financial struggles with various job eliminations, Phil and Sue never waivered about sending their children to Sacred Heart. Their love for the Sacred Heart church, school, music ministry and sports were a big part of their lives together, and a very important one as well. In 2016, Phil and Sue received the Sacred Heart Parents of the Year Award for their dedication and years of involvement with the school.
It was in June 2017 that Sue went to the doctor because she had been having a lot of back and hip pain. Phil remembers that she called him and said he needed to come and meet her at the hospital. They were informed that Sue had stage 4 cancer. This began a series of hospital stays, chemotherapy treatments, as well as alternating times spent at home with caretakers. Family and friends held a fundraiser for Sue and Phil in the fall of 2017 and Phil noted that there was a huge turnout from Sacred Heart. This was very humbling for them and an experience they would never forget.
On April 1st, 2018, they celebrated Easter Sunday in EGF with Sue’s family. Phil remembers that Sue stood up and shared with them how she thought it wasn’t fair that she was ready to go to heaven, but that the family wanted her to stay here. Five days later, and just after quietly squeezing Phil’s hand, Sue passed away. Phil said he had spent time reflecting on the question that was asked at a church sponsored date night, “Are you doing what you can to get your spouse to heaven?”. He didn’t know the answer to that. But he did know that when Sue passed, she was prepared and ready to be accepted into heaven, whether he had anything to do with it or not.
In honor of a life of music, and the desire to keep music a focus in everyone’s lives, in 2017 Phil and Sue decided to establish the Sue Vanyo Music Scholarship Fund for Sacred Heart. Each year two scholarships are awarded to high school students who are actively involved in music.
We talk about writing your story at Sacred Heart. Phil and Sue wrote their story together, and it contained chapters of life at Sacred Heart with their children, Sue’s work, and lots of volunteering including their music ministry. At Sacred Heart, we hope to raise up boys and girls to become the men and women who live lives of “love, undeniable love”. Stories that end with being ready to go home. Please prayerfully consider donating to the Sue Vanyo Music Scholarship and help the students of tomorrow to write their stories.